


Forget Me Not

by Cathalinaheart



Category: Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Extremis (Marvel), M/M, Memory Loss, Not A Fix-It, Podfic & Podficced Works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 23:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20665739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cathalinaheart/pseuds/Cathalinaheart
Summary: Extremis is slowly deleting Tony's brain. And Steve has to watch.(Set just after Tony got Extremis, for the Bingo square 'Forget me not')





	Forget Me Not

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the_casual_cheesecake for the beta!

It had started slow. So slow that Steve didn't notice. A misplaced item here, a millisecond of having to remember something there.Tony had just seemed slightly more forgetful than usual, but Steve had attributed it to him being overworked. There had been a lot of pressure on Tony recently after the fight with Mallen and having to adapt to Extremis on top of it all.

But then he was missing words. And he started to forget names and what had happened half an hour ago. Next he was starting to freeze in battle seemingly forgetting how to operate his armor. Something that shouldn't be possible. Armor malfunctions were a thing that happened, Tony actually forgetting how to operate it was not.

At that point, Steve couldn't deny that something was wrong. Very wrong. Of course, that didn't stop Tony from refusing to see a doctor.

‘Something’s wrong, Tony. You can’t tell me this is normal.’ Steve was ready to beg at this point. Trying to reason with a stubborn Tony Stark was like trying to reason with a rock. You could try, but nothing would come of it.

‘I’m fine, Steve. No need to worry. I’m just tired, that’s all.’ Tony was trying to brush him off.

‘Please go and see a doctor. Or maybe it’s Extremis? What if something is wrong with that?’ Steve had been suspicious of that thing since the beginning. Who knew what it might be doing to Tony?

‘Extremis is working fine. Seriously. Stop worrying.’ Tony turned away and left Steve standing there.

The next morning Steve tried to bring the topic up again, but to no avail. Tony just left the room again saying he was fine. Steve hated that word with a burning passion.

The first time Tony looked at Steve like he didn't know him, it hurt. Steve wasn’t able to breath for a moment and his heart was beating painfully in his chest. It felt like someone had torn away the ground under his feet and he was left in free fall. He hadn't realized how much of his life revolved around Tony. And how much of Tony’s had apparently revolved around him. Steve had never noticed how differently Tony treated him compared to the other Avengers. No matter what was going on in his life, he always seemed to have time for Steve. Not anymore.

Tony withdrew more and more from him and it was agony. There was nothing he could do, short of knocking Tony unconscious and dragging him to a doctor against his will. That option was beginning to look more attractive every day.

Steve was on his usual morning run, trying to clear his head, when he spotted the flower. On a whim he took it with him. After returning to the tower, he quickly put it into water and headed to the workshop with it.

Tony was sitting at his bench, staring at the tools in his hand like he didn't know how to use them.

'Steve!' It seemed he had managed to catch one of those rare moments were Tony still remembered who he was. The relief felt bittersweet, because who knew how long that would last. He was haunted by Tony’s eyes looking at him without recognition.

'Hey Tony, how are you doing?' 

Tony took a quick and angry look at the tools in his hand. 'I'm fine.' 

Steve just looked at him. There was the cursed word again. Tony may be many things, but fine really wasn’t the word Steve would use in that moment. Stubborn, an idiot. Those seemed like better choices.

'I, uh, I brought you something.' Steve handed the vase with the flower to Tony.

‘Oh, it’s pretty.’ Tony’s smile at being handed the flower turned into a frown. ‘What’s it called?’

‘It’s a Myosotis.’ Steve may have done a quick search on the internet. ‘Or more commonly, forget-me-not. People used to say the blue color resembled the eyes of people freshly in love, so they were given as a show of love and commitment.’ Steve blushed. There had been no need to share that last bit of information.

Tony carefully caressed the petals of the flower, while avoiding Steve’s gaze. ‘Thank you.’

'You're welcome.' Steve swallowed and shifted his weight from one leg to the other. 'Please, Tony, is there nothing we can do to help?'

Tony stared at the flower and seemed to come to a decision.

'No Steve, there really isn't.’ He swallowed. ‘It  _ is _ Extremis. Something must have gone wrong when I deactivated all those failsafe and now it's… well basically it's formatting my brain, slowly deleting my memories. And there is nothing I, or anyone else, can do.'

The fact that Tony had known all along what was wrong, had lied to his face… It made Steve angry. His hands clenched into fists involuntarily. Surely there are enough geniuses running around in the superhero community to be able to figure this out. It took all of Steve’s self-restraint not to start shouting at Tony. He was tired of fighting with him, especially during one of these ever rarer moments were Tony still remembered his name. So he just sat down on the couch in the corner and sketched and kept Tony company. His sketchbook filled with drawing after drawing of Tony. Of him right now, during the last fight, on the couch after falling asleep in front of the television. Always Tony, full of life.

* * *

It turned out Tony hadn’t lied when he said there was nothing anyone could do.

Steve spent the next week trying to call up anyone he thought had a chance of saving Tony. But Tony had already tried everybody, and everybody was useless, and Extremis was killing him. 

Once the realization set in that there truly was nothing he could do, and the last punching back lay broken on the floor, Steve finally allowed himself to cry. In that moment he vowed to spend all of Tony’s remaining time with him.

So Steve stayed by Tony’s side, while all his instinct screamed at him to run and hide. Just so he wouldn’t have to witness Tony slowly losing himself. It was torture to have to stand by and not be able to do anything. Steve was a fighter and there was nothing here for him to fight. He felt helpless, overwhelmed. It was like every memory Tony lost took a bit of Steve’s energy with it.

The forget-me-not stayed with Tony, even when his mind didn’t. Every day Steve silently switched it out for a new one. Maybe Tony had understood that Steve was trying to tell him he loved him. Maybe he even felt the same way. And keeping the flower was the only thing Tony’s mind could hold onto. For Steve the flower was hope. A sign that some part of Tony was fighting very hard to hold onto him. That Tony considered him something worth fighting for.

The day Tony Stark closed his eyes for the last time, the blue flower was standing on his bedside table. Steve was sitting next to the bed, holding Tony’s slowly cooling hand. His gaze drifted to the flower that hadn’t stopped Tony from forgetting. He wished he could forget as well.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Forget Me Not](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20678723) by [Cathalinareads (Cathalinaheart)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cathalinaheart/pseuds/Cathalinareads)


End file.
